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Ice
Breakers
BREAK THE ICE
All summer long we get calls and emails asking for icebreakers. Save the call, read on. Here's a treasure trove of tried and true ideas that have never before been seen in Reunions magazine or www.reunionsmag.com. While
learning from these experiences of other family reunions, feel
free to e-mail us your
reunion ice breakers.
Sneaky icebreaker
Kick off your reunion with a team relay that will get everyone running. It’s best if people are wearing slip on shoes or sneakers without laces. Divide into teams and line up with boxes or bins placed about 20-25 feet away opposite the teams. The game starts when one member of each team races to the box, removing his/her shoes and putting them in the box. She/he runs back, tags the next person and so on. When everyone is shoeless, the reverse begins; the first person runs to the box, puts on her/his shoes and returns to tag the next person. The first team with all their shoes back on wins.
Ernestine Kinsey Marshall, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, reports that there are no shy people in her Phillips family. They make a game of asking each person they encounter, “how are we related?” She says this has turned into “a fun game” for the “little people” who learn about relationships.
Let’s catch up
Shelley Chell, Minneapolis, Minnesota, says the organizer of each Chell Family Reunion is responsible for a “get acquainted” activity. One year they invented a game called “let’s get caught up.” Everyone got a list of things that had happened to someone since the last reunion; bought a new car, moved to a new city, lost a tooth, has same job, learned the names of over 50 Pokemon characters. They circulate, ask questions and attach names to happenings. Then, after collecting names there is a debriefing, where they listen to lots of stories about what everyone has done since the last reunion.
Paint your reunion friendly
A group project can thaw lots of ice. Pre-draw a mural that depicts reunion group history. Provide paint, brushes and palettes for anyone to bring the painting to life. Ask members to initial or sign what they paint. The mural can be auctioned for a bit of reunion income or presented to someone special, particularly if they have display space.
Who am I?
Joan C. Waters, Charlotte Hall, Maryland, writes that her Curtis/Butler Family Reunion has a getting-to-know-you game, i.e., “who am I?” Everyone circulates and gets signatures of those fitting various categories (doctor, college graduate, high schooler, animal lover, etc.). Or they play a trivia game that asks Who's who in Black History?
The Fontenettes Family Reunion in Layfayette, Louisiana, uses a get acquainted mystery guest. Members move around the room, shake hands and say hello to as many people as they can in time allotted. The mystery guest mingles and shakes hands with as many as he can but also keeps track of the number who approach him voluntarily. Every fifth person to shake the mystery guests hand receives a prize.
Who’s this?
Curtis Sourwine, Cementon, Pennsylvania, writes that Jacob Sauerwein Descendants' Reunion members get lists of things to find; someone wearing blue, someone in the Air Force, someone who's never been to the reunion before, two people attending college. Ask questions whose answers require looking at the family tree, color-coded according to family branches.
We found this story in The Morning Call, Allentown, Pennsylvania. Ann Hoenigman, Mayfield, Ohio, sent Aunt Nancy's family trivia game, at the O’Donnell reunion. Each person gets a printout of 60 family questions. Whoever gets the most correct wins a prize. Each question leads to a story. They have a microphone and sound system. One member of each family introduces their members and tells something interesting about each person. Children are divided into teams and given a list of questions for the team to find the answers for. An example is. “What was the county in Ireland Tom O'Donnell left in 1906?” The children must find and ask the right older relative to get the answer. The team with the most right answers gets a prize.
Surfing the ‘net
We found these intriguing ideas at www.stretcher.com from "The Dollar Stretcher, Inc." in Bradenton, Florida. A tall tale contest determines who can tell the tallest tale. Make it a contest with judges or let the audience vote or make it a fun story hour which ‘old-timers’ and youngsters love. Ask older family members to tell about their parents or ancestors.
Give each member a sealed envelope containing a name of one in a pair. Members must talk to people, give hints and ask questions to try to find your other half. (Romeo /Juliet, The Lone Ranger/Tonto and Hansel/Gretel, or names of grandparents, aunts and uncles with spouses.) The idea is to talk to each other to find who has the other half of your name. Try this “birthday game.” Have all the people born in the same month gather in one group, then have members of each group give their birthdates (January 21, January 9, etc.). Out of 100 people there are lots of matches of two people with the same birthday. If the group is diverse enough, find out where everyone was born (by state). How many states are represented? What's the most populous state?
Display trivia
This takes finding an affordable supplier. Have reunion group trivia printed on cocktail napkins. Family history, class traditions, unit legends can all be summarized as fast reminders each time someone looks at the napkins. Family trivia napkins can also be sold as fundraisers.
What’s new?
Breen Family branches each bring 50 copies of “family news” (one or two pages of what’s been happening in that particular family since the last reunion). According to Patty Breen Homan “this works wonderfully because when you get more than 80 people together, it is hard to learn all this from everyone.” Before they did this, they’d get detail from a few conversations but leave the reunion still feeling less connected to some members. Now, Friday evening and Saturday morning, many are sitting around reading the “news” and following up with conversations and questions based on what they learned.
Bingo!
We found this at family-reunion.com. For a bingo game, ask everyone to write their name and something about themselves on a 3x5" card. Throw the cards in a bowl. Then write players names on bingo sheets. If all names won't fit that's ok, choose names for your card. Draw a card from the bowl, read the “fact” and take up to three guesses whose name is on the card. The person whose name and fact were read must stand. Everyone marks the name on their bingo card.
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Getting re-acquainted
Icebreakers are essential at many reunions. These ideas may inspire you to develop new ways to become re-acquainted.
- This Is Our Life. Ask each family for photos of their home, yard, activities, sports, hobbies and pets for a display. Then, at the reunion ask kids to explain the pictures.
- Display genealogy. Family photos and special remembrances will quickly get members remembering and mingling.
- Tape baby pictures to a poster, then try to guess who was who. Marvel at family resemblances.
- Make a word-find puzzle using all the cousins’ names.
- Guess the numbers. Fill a fishbowl with peanuts or candies, and let everyone guess how many the bowl contains.
- “Identify the picture” contest. Take torso shots of men to post at next year’s reunion. Identification may not be easy since some will lose or gain weight.
- 20 (or 30) questions. Give everyone a get-acquainted list of questions. Examples: Find someone who sings in the shower … who’s left-handed … who plants tomatoes in the garden … who served in Vietnam.
- Ancestor Search. Each parent/child team receives a list of ancestors and has 15 minutes to collect signatures from ancestors’ descendants. Winners are those who gather the most correct signatures.
- Ask everyone to face the person to the right and give him/her a compliment.
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Reunion warmer-uppers
Recognize that some people may have pre-reunion jitters. Plan activities to help people get acquainted without feeling self-conscious. For example, give each person a 3-by-5 card and ask them to write something unusual about themselves that others might not know. Then, play a guessing game where everyone tries to match the card to the right person. Or make a family scavenger hunt for information not for items. Who has a tattoo? What are the great-grandparents' birthdays? What country did our founders come from? Who went to the University of Wisconsin?
The Peltonen-Maki Family Reunion is held every five years. For the first, each family wrote a tribute to the matriarch, and these were bound into a book. At the second, each family made a quilt square representing their family's interests. For the third, each family member sent a recipe, including why it is an important dish for them, to be compiled in a family cookbook.
The kids play “get-to-know-your-cousins” games. One year placards were held up such as Attended Bohn 50th wedding anniversary” while the song Have You Ever Been There, Stand Up plays and those who attended that event stand up.
Forrest S. Clark, Kissimmee, Florida, writes that a feature of one Buck Family Reunion was a 40-part family questionnaire based on little-known facts about each family member; everyone was asked to answer. This generated much discussion and prizes were awarded for those who got the most answers correct. It was a learning process because each person learned information about others.
J. Lynne Wilson Jenkins, Simpsonville, South Carolina, described these icebreakers from the Douglass-Blount Reunion: “We ask everyone to introduce themselves and state how they are related to the family. We play icebreaker games that force people to mix and mingle. We recognize the oldest and youngest, member who traveled farthest and the family with most immediate members present. We always do a memorial for those who died since the last reunion and share family history.”
Carol Idalski says the Darga Family Reunion encourages kids to sit at different tables and talk to all the aunts and uncles and play games together.
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From an article in the Lansing, Michigan, State Journal, come these ideas.
- Nametags can help in a crowd of extended family or for a family that meets infrequently.
- Sponsor a night-before “meet and greet” for out-of-town guests to break the ice.
- Schedule games that reveal family facts. Give family members a list of others' accomplishments, such as “he jumped out of airplanes in World War II” or “she was the first person in the family to graduate from college.” Then have them circulate until they find the person.
- Connect people who have similar interests, such as hobbies, jobs or kids.
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When the Stantons gather
Louise Hawley, Lillian, Alabama, wrote that the Thomas Stanton Society meets every three years for a three-day reunion on property in Stonington, Connecticut, owned by the family since the 1640s. They have no problem “breaking the ice.” First, they provide nametags with lineage on the reverse side and a packet of relevant historical information. We encourage everyone to bring whatever information they have to share. This always includes computer printouts, photos and stories of their immediate family and even artifacts (such as a 1740s gun which was later donated to a local museum).
The first evening is always given over to family members with a story to tell. What is so great is to see young cousins meet for the first time or find out that another family member might share the same lineage for a number of generations. “Yes, it's work to plan and notify everyone, make the tags and prepare the folder and program. It pays off in developing a rewarding connection, not only to other kin, but to our country's history as well,” says Hawley.
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Cool trivia
for your reunion
Jacky Utley is the source of yet another way to regale your members
either at the reunion or in your newsletter (where I discovered
Jacky). At www.placesnamed.com/default.asp
you will find a site where you can type in a name (the name of
your reunion, for example) and find some very interesting information
about the name. For example, using my name, I discovered that
Wagner is the 171st most frequent last name in the US. A long
list of places called Wagner included information about the county,
longitude, latitude and, in some cases, the elevation, area in
acres and zip code. Bet your family doesn’t know those facts!
Can you
top this?
The reported highlight of an evening program at a recent Eby Family
Reunion in Prince Rupert, Canada, was The Eby Ear Wiggling Contest!
shared by Jan Tompkins, Columbia MO
Friday
"Chew and Chat"
A Friday evening "Chew and Chat" welcomes arriving members
of the Heath/Massey/Cunningham Family Reunion 35th reunion in
Atlantic City, New Jersey, hosted by Philadelphia members.
The frozen
spoon
An anonymous e-mailer shared the following "ice" breaker
which was successfully used to "loosen up" a family
of Swedes. A spoon was put in the freezer then a string was tied
to the spoon. Two teams of six people were picked. Each team member
put the cold spoon through their clothing and each team was timed
to the finish. Speed won.
What to
do to warm ‘em up?
by Susan Thomas
These four activities are intended to be enjoyed by family members
of all ages. Very little equipment or supplies are needed but
each requires some thought and planning before your reunion. You
should be able to find things you’ll need around the house.
My wish
for you
Designate "The Wish Bowl." Ask everyone to write wishes
for other family members and deposit them in the bowl. They can
be wishes for the coming year or predictions like ones found in
fortune cookies. On the paper, write the person’s name on
one side, "My wish/prediction for you" on the inside
and sign it. Read the wishes at a special ceremony.
Remembering
box
Collect family memorabilia in a shoe box throughout the year.
Label the box with the year, name and ages of each family member.
Some family members may want to gather memorabilia themselves.
Collect reminders of family occasions. The program from a concert
or athletic event. A ribbon won at the 4-H fair. Newspaper articles
or pictures. A lucky golf ball. An unusual rock or fossil found
on vacation. A map showing the route taken on a family trip. Letters
or postcards from each other, relatives or friends. A photograph
of the family fisherman and the "catch of the day."
Bring the
box to your reunion and when you’re together celebrating,
open the shoe box and ... remember.
Balloon
games
There are several fun balloon games you can play. How long can
each person balance a balloon on their nose while walking or standing,
facing the sky or ceiling? How many times can a balloon be punched
before hitting the ground? Who kicks or throws it farthest?
Try a balloon
race. Mark start and finish lines. Start each race with a signal.
First race - Carry the balloon on a plate.
Second race - Kick the balloon.
Third race - Hold a balloon between your legs.
Finish
first and you win
Cut paper into playing card size. The number of cards made is
determined by the number of people playing. Write a number from
one to ten and one action on each card. Examples: take 6 leaping
steps; go back 4 steps; hold your left foot in your left hand
and hop forward 2 steps. Next, decide on a start and finish line.
Outdoor action could start at the bushes and end at the garage
door. Indoor action could start at a living room chair and end
at the refrigerator. Before you begin playing, choose an Action
Captain to shuffle and hold cards. Take turns choosing and following
the cards. The player who finishes first wins and is the Action
Captain for the next game.
About
the author
Susan Thomas, Kansas City, Missouri, has a BA in Elementary
Education from the University of Northern Iowa. She raised three
children and taught primary grades for seven years. She teaches
Writing for Children as a part time faculty member at Maple Woods
Community College and in summer College for Kids.
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Ice breakers
for all
by Edith Wagner
A goal for reunion organizers who expect extended
family is to have people talking and enjoying themselves as quickly
as possible because there "is so little time to do it."
Even some adults find it hard to strike up a conversation. Reunion
committee members should circulate, say hello and instigate conversations.
In no time, everyone’s talking and having a good time.
Still
some members may be uncomfortable or feel they don’t fit
in. Give them a job. Ask someone to help hand out awards —
any job that helps them feel involved.
The
person who facilitates ice breakers and introductions at your
reunion must be enthusiastic and able to sell everyone on the
fun to follow.
One
family asked the oldest generation to introduce themselves, their
families and share special events that occurred since the last
reunion. Then, letters are read and pictures shared from members
who could not attend.
Karen
Robertson, California, Bropra Family Reunion, suggests an icebreaker
where each person writes little known facts about themselves.
The facts are listed on a paper and the object is to find the
person who matches the fact and get their signature. People get
acquainted and learn interesting information about each other.
Or distribute a list of questions as members arrive.
To get answers, they must circulate and talk to people. Suggest
questions specific to your family. Include one question about
each branch of the family so everyone can feel like an expert.
This forces people to seek out distant relatives. These questions
could cover current information like, "Who just got engaged
in the Radtke branch of the family?" or "Who is retiring
and moving to Arizona?" Include questions about family history.
People will need to ask older relatives for answers or check the
genealogy display. If some family members still speak in the family’s
native language write a line or two tobe translated. Those who
don't speak the language must find those who do. Post photos of
ancestors and ask members to identify them.
Reva
J. Moen, Eugene, Oregon, sent her family's list of kudos. The
Morefield Family Reunion salutes those who come the farthest;
the eldest in attendance, who's from a foreign country, one with
the most children, one with the largest family.
Bob
Snyder’s Kauffman Family Reunion soon had strangers laughing
together with their version of Whoppers. Each member in groups
of five or six wrote four alleged facts about themselves —
three true but hard to believe and one false but believable. Others
in the group tried to identify Whoppers as lists were read. Points
were awarded for people fooled or for every fact correctly guessed.
Discussion of real and bogus facts continued throughout the reunion.
These
ice breakers collected at the Share the Secrets Conference at
YMCA of the Rockies Estes Park, Colorado, are great ways to break
down the "long-time-no-see barriers."
- Circulate
a roll of toilet paper and ask everyone to take some squares.
After everyone has them, ask them to tell as many things about
themselves as they’ve taken squares. If Auntie Erika took
seven squares, you’ll learn seven things about her. Set
the example yourself and start the telling.
- Ask everyone
to stand in a circle facing in. Tell members each person is
to say his/her name and pantomime a favorite activity or hobby.
"My name is Patty." Everyone says, "Hello Patty."
Then she acts out her hobby; piano playing, cooking, biking,
golf. Everyone guesses until they guess Patty’s hobby,
when her turn is over. When the game is finished, everyone's
name and a hobby are known.
- Scramble!
Get everyone onto their feet and moving to form groups based
on things you suggest. Everyone with blue or brown eyes. Once
the group is formed, make another suggestion. Everyone who likes
baseball or chess or Nintendo. Everyone whose favorite movie
is Star Wars. Everyone who loves lasagna. Everyone who loves
to camp or fish or hike. Before long lots of people know lots
about lots of others!
Doris A.
Phillips, Indianapolis, Indiana, says the Phillips-White-Wilson
Family Reunion gave their over 100 members each a get-acquainted
list of thirty questions. Find someone who sings in the shower.
Find someone who’s left-handed. Find someone who’s a
Crazy Hat Judge (they wore ribbons on their name tags).
Rosa Thomson
asked every family group for This Is Our Life photos showing their
home, yard, activities, sports, hobbies and pets. Her son made
a display for everyone to get to know one another!
A genealogy
display, lots of family photos and special remembrances quickly
get, members of the Guidon/Yandeau Family Reunion "mingling."
The Deschaines
tried a humorous twist on the "Identify the Picture"
contest often done with baby pictures or portraits of ancestors.
They took a series of torso shots of men holding beer cans next
to their navels, to be posted the next year. Identification was
not easy since some of the men lost or gained weight.
At Karen
Naedler’s Cousins Connection, everyone taped baby pictures
to a huge poster labeled Beautiful Babies. The fun was trying
to guess who was who and marveling at family resemblances. A sister-in-law
spent hours making a word-find puzzle using all the cousins’
names. It was a tremendous hit. They also filled a fishbowl with
peanuts for everyone to guess the numbers. The prize was a live
"family tree" to be re-planted.
Maurice and
Florence Krueger, Mina, South Dakota, shared these successful
Polt Family Reunion icebreakers.
- Ancestor
Search. Takes 15 minutes and requires three volunteer judges
and parent/child teams. Each team receives a list of ancestors
and has fifteen minutes to collect signatures from ancestors’
descendants. Winners gather the most correct signatures.
- For children
ten or under. Each girl gives her name, her mother’s and
grandmothers’ names. Each boy gives his name, his father’s
and grandfathers’ names. Don’t forget rewards for
each child.
- Time-fillers.
Ask everyone to face the person to the right and give him/her
a compliment.
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Reunion
Trivia
Gregory Bonner, Lexington, Kentucky, shared ideas about his family’s
Reunion Trivia game which involves everyone from six-years old
to eighty-years young. New questions are written for each reunion
because they should teach and entertain.
Twenty-five
to thirty questions are just about right. Start with serious questions
to inform. How many living generations are there in our family?
Who is the eldest living family member? Ask the person to stand,
be recognized, given flowers and accolades. Who is the youngest
member present? Ask the parents to show off the child. Which couple
has been married longest? Shortest? Again, ask them to stand and
be recognized. How many sets of twins were born in the family?
Then, more on to lighter, less serious questions. What was a grandmother’s
middle name? How many children did the family founders have? Name
them. Introduce anything about your family you think is unique,
such as: What was Uncle Jim’s job in the Army? Answer: Uncle
Jim was a bugler in the Cavalry.
Include some
silly questions, too. What is Uncle Bubba’s real name? What
relationship was Aunt Kirsten to us and how? Many times we call
someone aunt/uncle/cousin when they’re not really relatives.
Younger members don’t know why. What were Uncle Ed’s
two cats’ names?
And, finally,
the bragging questions. The purpose of these is to recognize people
who are doing something special or outstanding. Emphasize what’s
extraordinary and worth recognition. Who’s attending college
this year? Each college student should stand, tell the name of
the college and their major. Who bought a house since our last
reunion? Who had a baby this year?
Once you
start thinking questions come easily. Questions are limited only
by your imagination. You don’t have ask all of them at once.
Remember your objectives are to entertain, educate, recall and
get everyone involved.
Keep comments
and speeches to a minimum. Never ask a question for which you
have no answer. A slight dose of foolishness is fun, but don’t
get too silly. People will lose interest. Be creative. Avoid negatives,
such as: How many husbands did Aunt Trudy have? Or why did Uncle
Lee go to jail on Christmas Eve?
Be patient,
understanding and versed in crowd control. Don’t play favorites,
people will yell and scream from every direction if you always
call on your sister for answers.
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More reunion
trivia
Organize teams that include members from each generation and each
branch of the family. Set out paper bags and ask relatives to
deposit questions. Categories can include anything you choose;
sports, geography, education, family history, special events.
This is an opportunity to share. Welcome family stories that often
interrupt the game. This also teaches youngsters that family history
is fun.
Adapt historical
trivia to the generations of your family. Start with the oldest
person present and say, when Oma Wenzel was born, in 1903: The
price of gas was ___ per gallon. First class postage was ___.
Bread cost ___ per loaf. The ballpoint pen was not yet invented.
Credit cards did not exist. The Zip Code was ___ years in the
future. Life magazine was ___ per copy. Then use the same trivia:
Oma Wenzel’s oldest child, William, was born in 1934, They
had a car and the price of gas was ___.
Franklin
Buser, a member of Kimmel Cousins, developed Kimmel Geography
for Trivia Collectors. Consider the possibilities. Buser found
Kimmelton, Kimmel Township and two Kimmel churches in Schuykill
County, Pennsylvania; Kimmell, Indiana; Kimmel School, Illinois;
Kimmel Hall at Syracuse University, New York; Kimmel Roads in
Eldorado, Ohio, Somerset, Pennsylvania and Redford, Arkansas.
How about trivia for your family name?
Michele Beckett,
Loveland, Colorado, says Newtons chose sides to play the Newton
Trivia Game, a rollicking way to share family history. Everyone
sent in exploits and stories which were compiled into questions.
The Berry
Family Reunion hands out questions on cards as people arrive forcing
everyone to talk and ask questions immediately. "Which family
member was born at 8:02 AM in a hospital hallway?" "Which
aunt attended five different grade schools?"
What does
your family do to warm the crowd? How do you get everyone involved
and participating eagerly?
Trading
time
Ask teenagers to come prepared to trade school t-shirts. It may
mean buying a couple of extras but you’ll be giving extra
support to your kids’ schools. Best are shirts that include
not only the name of the school but the city and state for out-of-state
cousins.
If your reunion
includes members from everywhere, trade souvenirs. If everyone
brings one, then trading time should start as early as the first
mixer/welcoming party. Encourage people to trade and re-trade.
As a final activity ask everyone to show what trade they’ve
ended up with. They’ll still be trading in cars or at the
airports on their way home!
The Barnett
Family Reunion has a special trading tradition. Each child digs
into his or her toy box for something to take to the reunion.
Toys are piled on a picnic table or blanket. Each child’s
name is put in a bag and pulled one by one, to pick a ‘new’
toy from the pile.
Whatever
the ploy, fun is always the result at reunions!
About
the author
Edith Wagner is founder and editor of Reunions magazine, author of Reunions Workbook and The Family Reunion Sourcebook.
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We sincerely thank everyone for sharing information about their reunions because we know it inspires many others. Feel free to share not only your icebreakers but anything unique about your reunion or what you’ve learned by organizing your reunion.
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