September 11th survey

  A survey was done after September 11, 2001 to determine what effect the event had on reunions. The outcome also says something about the importance of reunions and the tenacity of people planning them.

  In the issue of Reunions magazine after September 11, 2001, it was a whole different world from what now seems like a pretty innocent time. I never doubted for one moment that reunions were going to be even more important as the world changes so quickly. Amidst the confusion, doubt and concern, reunions are vibrant and growing stronger.

  We polled reunions planned for October and November and discovered they were going on with great resolve. We were inspired by a September 14th email to contact reunions. A reunion organizer received this from a niece who lives in Manhattan. "Please, please, please assure us that the reunion should and must take place. … cannot allow the terrorists to think for one minute that they have disrupted our lives. We stand tall. We love America. We want the reunion to happen. (I need the reunion to happen)."

  The nine Guy sisters let nothing delay their long planned reunion in New York City just as planes began flying again. They took Mayor Guiliani seriously when he encouraged them to come and spend money. It was a reunion they’ll treasure forever because of the time they spent there together.

The USS Castor AKS-1 8th national reunion met as scheduled the first weekend in October in Las Vegas. About 150 members attended the TAC Missillers reunion in Orlando. No cancellations were noted for the USS Bausell DD845 reunion in San Diego. The Cagle/Knowles Family Reunion displayed the flag at their October reunion in Dubach, Louisiana.

A newsletter after the September reunion of the 2nd Fighter Squadron, 52nd Fighter Group WWII, now known as the American Beagle Squadron Alumni, described their memorial service which included candlelight and a very moving rendition of Taps. When the lights were turned back on, all the other diners in the restaurant had joined their tribute so the trumpeter played The Star Spangled Banner and everyone sang.

Registrations for the Navy Fighter Squadron VF-54 reunion in Tucson, Arizona, indicated their largest reunion ever held. Security considerations cancelled tours of an out of service military aircraft storage facility and the airport tower.
HS-7, a Naval Squadron in Vietnam aboard the USS Saratoga, had some undecided individuals but was on as scheduled in Rhode Island. There were no USS Monssen DD798 member cancellations though a tour and military base visit were cancelled by the Navy who did provide a Memorial Service Color Guard at ceremonies during their farewell banquet.

St Michaels High School Reunion chairperson, Janet White, said they’d "waited 27 years and can't stop the future from happening! We are going on as planned in downtown Jersey City, New Jersey, right across the river from Ground Zero." A few classmates from California declined to fly.

The only change to the USS Ozbourn Associations fifth reunion was to amend the memorial service for departed shipmates and add those killed September 11th. Association president, William D. Minter, Texarkana, Texas, wrote "I feel it very important that we let the events of September 11th effect our future activities as little as possible and I hope that we go home from this reunion with a plan for us as an organization or as individuals to make a significant contribution to our nation's efforts to stamp out terrorism."

The 19th Bombardment Associations reunion in Atlanta, Georgia, anticipated excellent attendance. "This is probably the safest time ever to travel by air with the heightened security." declared Jerry Michael, association president. "What happened September 11th is truly tragic, but it cannot hurt us today and we should show these idiot fanatics they will not intimidate us."

Security concerns cancelled a visit to Boulder Dam for USS Coral Sea CVA-43 Association 368 members registered for their Laughlin, Nevada, reunion. The USS Grand Canyon AD/AR28, USS Pocono AGC. ALL16 and USS Francis M. Robinson DE220 reunions went on but had naval base tours cancelled.

Cynthia Youngblood lives in Missouri and is a committee chair for Atlanta, Georgia’s Northside High School Reunion, Class of 1981. She wrote, "Many classmates expressed the desire to reconnect due to events of September 11th. Therefore, this reunion has a special purpose for many and deeper meaning to see each other again." They videotaped and photographed for memories and for those who cannot attend.
Richard Walton Whitworth, who lives in California, had plane tickets to his family reunion in Texas, and was only concerned about being at the airport three hours early with no carryon luggage. Yvonne Heyliger, Largo, Florida, drove to her family reunion in Georgia but said they might have had to rethink it if anyone was flying. Richard Furman, Winter Park, Florida, reported that the 527th Army AG Personnel Services Company planned no changes.

Stan Pollard LCDR USN Ret of the submarine USS Chivo (SS-341) reunion, was particularly passionate. He wrote, "Our reunion spans 1944 to 1971, so we represent an older generation that faced WWII, Korea, Vietnam, and the Cold War. Submariners are all volunteers, and we did not stay at home because there was danger. Instead we put out to sea to face these challenges and keep our country free. It's no different now. If fact, I think recent acts of terrorism had much the opposite effect. There has been a huge exchange of e-mails and letters among our group encouraging patriotism and leadership. I think that the consensus is that it is our duty as veterans, and as the older generation who has already overcome great adversities and wars in the past, to demonstrate to the terrorists, to the world, and especially to our children, that America remains strong, confident in the future, and free. We fought hard for freedom and sacrificed much to preserve it. We are not about to surrender now."

Laurie Neuroth, Laytonville, California, reunion committee member of the Roselle, New Jersey, Girls Catholic High School Class of 1971 shared a letter from reunion chairperson Debi Yovanovich. "In the wake of the tragic events… something like this might seem frivolous at first — but then when you think about the connection we had in school and the "family" atmosphere our class had, it seems even more important that we get together and renew that bond." Another 30 year reunion right on schedule was Washington DC’s Burdick Vocational High School Class of 1971.

Several USS Holder Association members cancelled while others just "changed their mode of transportation from flying to riding the train or driving their cars."
Carrie Bodensteiner, webmaster for the Dreisbach Family Reunion wrote, "I'm sure many realize that, more than ever, ties of family and community are the strength of this nation and a source of support for all Americans. Our nation can embrace diversity at the same time it can show unity in the face of opposition. Our Dreisbach family is large and diverse, extending from coast to coast (even one German cousin will attend). Many emails have been exchanged in light of recent events and we have found solace and new strength in each other."

Scouting Force Association reunion chairperson Lt. Col. E. Richard Atkins, AAF/USAF Ret, wrote, "The reunion will be far more meaningful because we are all WWII vets who established our patriotic stance in 1941 and it has never left us."

Eugene Carroll said the USS Lake Champlain Association expected their reunion to hold special significance this year. "We believe that the United States must remain united in its effort to allow people to have freedom."

Sadly, this 25th was the last reunion of the 8th Gasco/9th Air Force because their numbers are dwindling too fast to continue. Hosts Bill and Mary Swanson wrote, "We've had a wonderful run at it over the years and have very fond memories to think back on as we wind down."

Though the events of September 11th will continue to have far-ranging effects on our world, for reunion groups they seem to have underscored our common need to draw together and stand united.

Survey finds structure and planning are keys to happy family reunions
by Laurence A. Basirico, PhD

  What could be better than spending a day with your closest family members a few times a year with nothing to do except relax and reminisce? Well, how about 4 days or more of planned activities with your extended family every 10 years or so? This survey sponsored by Reunions magazine and Elon University, Elon, North Carolina, found that family members are more satisfied when their reunions are structured, organized, well planned, larger, longer-lasting and less frequent. Of all these characteristics though, the real keys to success are structure, organization and planning.

How the research began
  The survey that yielded these conclusions is part of an ongoing research project about family reunions that I began about five years ago. My interest in family reunions is both personal and professional. I have attended and observed my own family’s reunions -– parents, siblings, spouses and children -– for nearly twenty years. My initial research was based on observations of and personal reflections about my family’s reunions, discussions with about 50 others about their family reunions, and my sociological knowledge about human interaction. Hoping to broaden my understanding, I developed a survey for Reunions magazine and sent it to a random sample of 2,000 reunion organizers/readers.

What the research is about  The main purpose of my research is to examine relationships at family reunions. Simply, how well do family members get along with each other and enjoy their reunions? In addition to answering basic questions about reunion facts (who, where, how often, how they are organized), respondents were asked how personally satisfied they were at the end of their last reunion, how satisfied they thought other family members were, how well family members got along with each other, and questions that comprised a “relationship index.” I developed the relationship index to get a better sense of how well relationships work at family reunions. The index included eight questions about things such as decision-making at the reunion, tolerance and acceptance of one another’s behaviors and lifestyles, and the extent to which any serious conflicts occurred. Besides exploring quality of relationships, I wanted to look at relationships that worked best and find out what happened at those reunions so we could learn from them.

How people felt about their most recent reunion
  The survey found that people are generally happy with how their reunions work out. Seventy-three percent said most family members were very satisfied at the end of the reunion, 69% said they were personally very satisfied, and 72% felt family members got along extremely well. That’s very encouraging news, but it still leaves about 30% of families who could learn a thing or two to have a better time with each other at their reunions.
  For the “relationship index,” respondents were asked to indicate how much they agreed or disagreed with eight statements about the way people behaved toward one another. Each statement was framed as a positive relationship. These included statements such as “There was respect for one another’s rules for daily living,” “There was tolerance of each other’s views on controversial issues,” “People avoided engaging in objectionable or offensive behavior” and five others. While most respondents agreed with each of the statements in the index, only 17% to 37% strongly agreed with the eight statements. That leaves more than 60% of respondents indicating there is room for improvement. One respondent wrote, “I look forward to our reunion all year. We love each other dearly and everyone gets along great, but there are those occasional tense moments.”
  The evidence is clear. People generally have a good time at their reunions and get along well with each other. Yet the survey shows there is a substantial percentage who say things aren’t the best they could be. What, then, can be done to make your good time even better? What’s going on at the most successful reunions that make them work so well, and what can we learn from them so every reunion works as well?

What leads to the best relationships at family reunions?
  While the research is in its early stages, most of the results and interviews so far suggest that structure, organization and planning are keys to success at family reunions. Eighty-four percent of respondents who reported the highest levels of satisfaction for family members has reunions with a great deal of structure and organization. Only 53% who said there was practically none. Further, 86% of those families who did a great deal of planning reported high levels of satisfaction, whereas only 56% of those families who did very little planning experience high levels of satisfaction.

The highest levels of satisfaction were reported by families who have reunions:
– less often (82% of those who hold reunions every 10 year or more are most satisfied, compared with 67% of those who hold a reunion once a year or more);
– that are larger (86% of those with 100 people or more are most satisfied, compared with 47% of those with 30 or fewer people);
– that last longer (83% of those attending reunions that last four days or more are most satisfied, compared with 42% of those attending reunions that last less than a half day).
  In addition, 97% of those who attended a reunion of their extended family (grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins) said family members got along extremely well as compared with 82% of those who attended reunions of their family of origin only (parents and siblings). It appears that people seem to fare better at the larger reunions rather than when they attend with the people to whom they may be the closest emotionally or with whom they have the most contact.
  But before you decide to hold infrequent, large, long-lasting reunions with your extended family, thinking that these things alone are the keys to success, consider this vitally important survey result: Reunions that are held less frequently, are larger, last longer, and are attended by extended families are the very ones that are more structured and well planned! In other words, if you take away the structure, organization and planning, the other characteristics have no real effect on the outcome. The reason those reunions work better is because they are more organized and planned.
  One respondent who boasted about good times at her reunion of over 100 cousins spanning three generations wrote, “We plan and plan and plan and plan. Then we plan some more. We only see each other every few years and I can’t imagine getting together with this many people without having some sort of schedule. But it’s worth it.”
  Furthermore, the survey found the greater the level of “clear and organized decision making” (certainly a by-product of good organization and planning) at the reunion, the higher the level of family member and respondent satisfaction, and the higher number reporting that family members got along well with each other. As one interviewee, whose family tends to have more informal reunions, told me, “No one can make up their mind about anything. What to do, when to eat ... what to eat. I wish someone would just take charge.” While no one is suggesting they want their reunion to resemble military boot camp, people like to know how things are being decided and that someone is taking responsibility.
  To some, the idea of a highly structured, organized and planned gathering might seem better suited for a business meeting or a summer camp than a family gathering. However, the survey respondents and people I interviewed who had the most successful relationships at their reunions said those reunions were the most planned and organized. And those who said that their reunions lacked any real planning or structure were the ones who spoke most frequently of tense moments and uncomfortable situations.
  Ironically, reunion success does not always have to do with how close a family is. “All you need is love” may be a good slogan for the long term, but as far as family reunions go, love is not enough. Structure, organization and planning are the key ingredients to successful reunion relationships among family members.

Who answered the survey?
568 (28% of those to whom it was sent) people from across the United States answered the survey. Here is a little bit about who they are:

• Race: white (73%), African American (24%), other races (4%)
• Gender: female (78%), male (23%)
• Marital status: married (74%), single (10%), divorced or separated (9%), widowed (7%)
• How often they have reunions: once a year or more (47%), every few years (28%), every 5 to 10 years (9%), every 10 years or more (15%)
Some facts about the respondents’ most recent reunions
• How many people attended: less than 30 (14%), 31 to 50 people (26%), 51 to 100 (40%), over 100 (21%)
• Who attended: family of origin only (5%), family of origin plus their siblings’ married families (17%), extended family (family of origin, siblings’ families, grandparents, aunts/uncles, cousins) (77%)
• Length of time since previous reunion: less than a year (14%), around a year (41%), a few years (23%), 5 to 10 years (9%), more than 10 years (13%)
• Where the reunion was held: home of a family member (18%), hotel (23%), park (20%), resort (5%), beach (3%), mountains (3%), camping (2%), various other places (town hall, country club, church, church camp, catering hall recreation center, community center, a ranch, a cruise) (26%)
• How long it lasted: a few hours (7%), half to a full day (34%), 2 to 3 days (48%), 4 to 7 days (10%), more than 7 days (1%)
• Main purpose: to celebrate a recurring family event such as a birthday or anniversary (3%), to celebrate a holiday (4%), to pay tribute to a unique family event such as a graduation, wedding, funeral (4%), to get reacquainted with one another (45%), to celebrate family roots and traditions (39%)
• How much planning took place before the reunion: a great deal (34%), a moderate amount (34%), very little (32%)
• How structured and organized (in terms of planned activities) the reunion was: a great deal of structure and organization (28%), some (51%), practically none (21%)

About the author
Larry Basirico is a sociology professor at Elon University, Elon, North Carolina. He has been doing research about relationships at family reunions for over five years. He has presented his work at national conferences and the National Social Science Review, and is currently working on a book.

First steps – getting started
Reunions magazine and the Hotel, Restaurant and Tourism Management Department of East Stroudsburg (PA) University held a joint study of family reunion organizers which resulted in a fascinating picture of their reunions. We'll cite results as we outline how to get your reunion started.

Why have a reunion?
 What the study says – The purpose for having reunions is varied. Fifty-seven percent (57%) said reunions help them keep in touch while over 28% wanted children to learn about family heritage. Other goals include getting everyone together before a family elder dies or to mark a special birthday, anniversary or holiday.

In the beginning
 Every reunion begins somewhere, somehow, sometime. Amy Barlow reports that her Mellenbruch Family Reunion started when her great-great-great grandfather, H. F. Mellenbruch, left a letter expressing a wish that his descendants would meet regularly. They celebrated their 100th reunion in July. Some people don't even remember or say they never even knew how their reunion started but remember attending them as children.
 Your reunion is not at all unusual if it started as an innocent comment at a funeral that you should start meeting under happier circumstances. Reunions can be compared to weddings and funerals except for one important fact – those events focus on the celebration or remembrance of just one person. Reunions celebrate everyone and the whole family.
  Sometimes individuals or the whole group may not be ready. If so, don't give up, just delay the idea for a while or continue with willing members.

Leadership
  What the study says – Seventy-six percent (76%) of respondents were women who ranged in age from 28 to 80. Over 32% organize each of their reunions; 22% plus rotate the leadership role; over 14% have a new volunteer for each reunion and over 12% of all reunions are organized by the person who thinks up the idea.
  Reunion sounds like and is a great idea! If you volunteer to be in charge, step forward with your whole heart and soul – there will be times when nothing less will do!
  It's best to not do it solo. Doing it by yourself can be lonely and may not get the results you want. Involving others as early as possible means help ranging from moral support (no small thing!) to taking charge of details large and small. Early involvement should also include a monetary contribution to defray start-up phone, printing and postage costs.
  It might look formidable if you're new to reunion organizing. Who will pay? When, where and how will everyone get there – on time and happy? What will they do when they get there? Lots of questions need answers. Enough time is crucial – to decide when and where, then on to all the myriad of details.

Who's family?
  Class and military reunions are easily defined with circumscribed members who are part of the group - or not. Family reunions are not always so exact or obvious. There is no definition of family for the purpose of reunion except a group of people with the desire to spend time together.
  Whom do you claim as family for this occasion? Is it thousands of progeny descended from a common ancestor who arrived in the US in 18-something? Is it the descendants of the brothers and sisters in a family? Is it all the cousins of a generation and their families? Is it the immediate three generations of grandma, grandpa, their children and grandchildren? Is it everyone with the same name?
  Or is it something in common like the same parents whether by birth, marriage or adoption? Some genealogists might differ with these loose definitions of family and want to be very specific about who is and is not related to make a family.

How long will the reunion last?
What the study says - Over 70% reported devoting two or more days at their reunion.
  Reunions aren't just picnics anymore. Typically reunions are lasting from Friday through Sunday though some families stay longer. One whole week is also not unusual.
  If members travel any distance, a longer stay makes the effort worthwhile with time to visit and relax before the return journey. Many family vacations are reunions or include reunions as part of their plans.

And how often should you meet?
 What the study says – Annual reunions are the norm for 46% of respondents, over 28% gather every other year, over 10% every five years.
  Reunion frequency is an individual decision. Reunions are not inexpensive so time to save is essential. Many families make the reunion an annual refresher requirement. Others choose two years apart but the ones who wait five years may increase frequency for special reasons like significant anniversaries or members being ill and unlikely to make the next reunion.
  Frequency is also a serious consideration for the reunion organizer. One year passes rapidly while two years can give you some extra breathing room.

Delegate and conquer
  Recruit all the help you can to lighten your load and strengthen "ownership" and commitment for the reunion. Ask members what they like to do and focus on it. This doesn't mean everyone must be in total agreement – growing a new idea takes time and patience.
  Consider committees. One can find your reunion location and accommodations, others to concentrate on program, fundraising, food, scholarships and cleanup.
 The art of delegation was important for Rosa Thomson. She identified special talents and skills of each family member. Showered with "yes" answers, Rosa completed projects on time and on budget.

When?
What does the study say? – A majority (85%) of all family reunions occur in June, July and August.
 Traditions flourish once your reunion is established. Set your first reunion date to draw as many people as possible. If reunion is a new idea, distant members need to save both time and money for the trip.
  Your reunion date might coincide with an important family event. You can choose a date arbitrarily. Or offer choices with a commitment to abide by the consensus of the group.
  Avoid a blanket request for dates. If you ask 50 people to suggest dates, you'll get 50 dates and still no consensus. If, on the other hand, you suggest a choice of say, Thanksgiving or Fourth of July weekend, you'll know your majority right away.
  Seasons matter – do you have skiers? campers? sun-seekers? school children? Plan accordingly.

Where?
  What does the study say? – Convenient location to get to is the most prominent factor (19%) followed closely (18%) by reasonable lodging cost, reasonable travel cost (16%) and available recreation activities (14%). Other responses included: same place every year, variety of accommodations and activities, shopping and destinations that match a theme.
  All families try to find special places ranging from their own backyard to historical family homesteads or even a dream locale. Many reunions are the family vacation or at least its highlight.
  Some reunions number hundreds of members. They meet more comfortably in hotels and resorts and even on cruise ships. The possibilities are infinite – smaller groups may be more comfortable at inns, ranches, condos, villas or campgrounds for tents and RVs or any mix.

  If you're considering a place you've not been before, contact the convention and visitors bureau for hot local information. Also check out Reunion Resources, a directory of reunion-friendly places, and patronize advertisers on this site.